What of me?

Hey family,

I am in the midst of studying the book of Esther right now and I am filled with a renewed sense of frustration with sin and the world that I wanted to share. This is the one book in the bible where God is not directly mentioned but whose presence is weaved throughout. This young woman, an orphaned Jewess was made a queen. Her people were due to be destroyed by a man who was at the time the Kings right hand man. Encouraging her to encourage the king to save her people, her cousin and caregiver tells her that she was put in her position for "such a time as this". I look at the purposed life of this young girl and I think, "Lord...what of me?" What of this live you chose to save? What...of...me?

I am sick of wasting time with sin. I am tired of being caught up in the world, what it represents and the fact that it takes me away from what my God wants of me. Have I too been saved/ selected/appointed to save a people? Have you? There was a selection made at some point and God chose me. He spent time creating me, writing my name in the book, purposing my steps, laying out this life before me...and I know it just wasn't simply for me to "be". I realize that you can be a dedicated, devout "person of God" and completely miss the mark. You can serve in ministry and love people and miss the call on your life simply b/c you do not know what God has purposed for this life of yours. Can't I with the promises of God, with the knowledge that he loved me enough to send His Son to the cross-a knowledge Esther did not have-can't I too be called to something scary, something dangerous, something world-changing? Can't you? Sure. I pray that God makes these things and more real to all of us.

We serve an amazingly huge God. Why do we think He doesn't always want more of us? This is simply not it. Lord, have your way, appoint me as You Will. I pray for this burden of "needing more" be laid upon all who read this. I pray that the God of the universe, make real to us all His plans for us-or simply that He has plans for us that are bigger and greater and more than we can imagine. I pray that whatever holds us back-sin, laziness, fear, complacency, "wisdom", life...whatever it is be done away with. I pray that God's Will be done in each life He saved.

Amen.